Perfect Two
by slthompson
Summary: A few one shots of Hawke and Fenris. It'll probably take a while but in time they'll find they are are perfect match.
1. Rise and Wine

**Hello there! This is just a one shot of something that's been stuck in my head for about a week now. I use to be on this site ages ago and thought it would just be a good outlet, some place to put this nagging scene! Since it's not mentioned below and just to avoid confusion, my Hawke is a rogue, Carver lived because he's way more fun to play through with then Bethany, Hawke isn't a fan of mages or magic. So it's a one shot for now, but it might grow into a few one shots because I've already got another one clawing it's way into my brain. Ah thank you Bioware for making such irresistible characters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

The sun was slowly starting to light the room. She could see it creeping across the walls and sliding onto the wooden planks in the floor. Varric was snoring lightly in his bed a few feet away and she could hear Norah and the crazy man who was always blabbering on about something arguing downstairs. She turned over in her makeshift bed, a couple blankets that Varric kept in a pile in the corner of his room, and pulled the covers up over her head. She felt like she'd just been punched in the head by an ogre. She wished she had been, she'd be better off dead then spending the day in _this_ condition. Most people were hard to deal with on a good day for her. Dealing with all the bullshit this city was drowning in on a bad day? To the void with that.

She allowed herself to lay there for a while longer before she got up. She was sure to be as quiet as she could possibly be while she threw on her leathers, her boots, and her grieves as not to wake Varric. She tossed her blankets back into their corner, grabbed her pack and locked the heavy door behind her on her way out. It felt like it took forever for her to get down the staircase, but when she finally did she wandered over to her usual spot at the bar and ordered her usual breakfast. This had become so routine that she'd actually come down a few mornings to her meal already waiting for her. Corff was a good guy, especially if you were a good customer.

As she chewed on the "mystery meat of the day" as she so lovingly referred to it as, the throbbing in her head was still driving her mad. Ugh she needed to figure out where she was going to spend the day. She had no plans and no jobs lined up and for once she was perfectly fine with that. She didn't want to do anything except get rid of the pounding in her head. So, she weighed out her options.

She didn't want to go back to Gamlen's shack. That would actually be the worst place for her to go. Gamlen down her throat about money and debts, Mother constantly nagging, wining and crying, Carver bitching and moaning about _everything_. Nope. She wouldn't be going home today. Aveline was always busy now. Training for the Captain spot she was going to be assuming in the Fall. She refused to go to Anders for anything. She hated being anywhere near him, let alone "hanging out" with the bastard. Merril was mad at her too, which she was fine with because she was just as scary and dangerous as Anders and now Hawke had a reason to not ask her to go anywhere anytime soon. Isabella was at The rose last night. Jethon had come back from vacation yesterday and she remembered her mentioning something about "missing him something fierce since he's been gone". Yeah, she'd probably be tied up all day. Literally.

Sebastian was no doubt giving one of his sermons or doing some confessions or something else that included a lot of chanting. Nope, her brain couldn't handle that today. Well, there was always Fenris... "I bet he'd know how to cure a hangover!" She thought to herself. "He never let's Anders touch him unless he absolutely has too..."

The more she thought about it the more Hawke warmed up to the idea of it. Hanging out with Fenris didn't sound bad at all. She could always stay with Varric but he usually found something for her to do and she honestly just wasn't up to it today. After the fight her and Carver had the night before she just really wanted a day to herself. Pity she never had anywhere else to go.

Besides, if it was awkward then she'd just slink back to Varric and hide back under her pile of sheets until he found some kind of problem to drag her ass into.

When she'd finished her meal she tossed Corff a few extra silvers. "Would you mind having Norah bring him up his breakfast in an hour? He shouldn't be up until then, not after last night." She gave Corff a wary smile. This was something else that had become routine to her. She always bought Varric breakfast when she crashed in his room at The Hanged Man. It was her way of saying "Thanks for letting me sleep on your floor again."

"Yeah I figured s'much. You and that boy put on quite a show you know." He chuckled

She just rolled her eyes, "Hey, you can't blame me. He's the one with the issues."

"Don't worry kiddo, I'll have that hussy bring him up a nice plate." Corff laughed as he took her plate and headed to the back. "We'll see you back here tonight I expect?"

"Maker yes." she sighed. He gave her a small nod and disappeared behind the door. She left the bar and walked out into the street. The sun was definitely too bright and she could smell the mucked up air of Lowtown. She started up the steps that led to Hightown, cursing the gulls that were screeching like sirens over head.

* * *

She didn't even bother knocking on the main door of the old mansion. He always kept it unlocked. She wandered in and was wondering why he had so many blasted stairs when suddenly she heard a shattering sound from the main room that Fenris mostly kept too. She peaked her head around the corner and saw him leaning against the wall closest to his bed. His forehead was pressed to the cool stone and his eyes were closed. He was muttering something under his breath. Swearing in Tevinter, she was sure.

"Well, nice to know I'm not the only one who's utterly miserable from last night." she stepped into the door way, giving him a weak smile.

His eyes shot wide open for a moment before they narrowed at her and the usual frown he wore returned to his face. She couldn't help but smile at the thought that she'd startled him, even if only for a moment. No one ever came upon him or his home without him knowing it. "What are you doing here?" His husky voice always made it sound like he'd just woken up, deep and rough.

"I told you. Just wanted to make sure someone was as miserable as me. Now my day is complete."

"I'm sure." He replied coolly. He walked over to the fire place where the embers had not yet cooled but there were no flames to be seen and began poking at it. Within a few minutes he had it roaring like it usually was, he grabbed a wine bottle from the mantle and set himself into his usual chair. Hawke had walked over to her usual spot and slung her pack onto the table.

"Seriously. What do you want this early Hawke? Has something come up or or you just here to bother me?" He was staring into the fire as he took a small drink from the half empty bottle.

"You know me," she sighed "just trying to stay away from that shack. Honestly I wish it would just get swallowed up into the void, and all those blighters inside could go with it." She was looking into the fire now too, the images of last nights argument flashed through her mind. She shook them from her head and turned her attention back to the elf sitting next to her.

He nodded. This wasn't the first time she'd come to his mansion because she had no where else to go, but she'd tried not to make a habit of it. She hadn't been here in a few weeks actually...

She sighed before she continued "Honestly, I have a massive headache. I don't want to go play with the abominations, especially when one is throwing a bitch fit about me not helping with "the plight of mages" and the other is pissed because I'm not letting her follow me around while she cuts her wrist and has play dates with demons all day... I was hoping you'd perhaps have a remedy for me. My suffering skull and I would really appreciate it if you did."

He smiled at this. Well, the corner of his mouth went up a little. It counted as a smile to her anyways.

"I actually do, but I'm not sure it's something you'd be interested in."

Oh? Now she was actually interested in a remedy. "And what would that be?" She quirked he eyebrow at him.

He took another long drink from the bottle in his hand and when he was finished he handed it to her. "I've got about six more bottles in the cellar. I stocked up when that merchant from the North was in town." She realized where he was going with this.

"That is bloody brilliant. Fight the hangover by just staying sloshed all the time. Ha! Why in the Maker's name has no one thought of this before?" She smiled at him before she took the bottle he offered and took a swig of it herself.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine. It has always worked well enough for me."

"Hopefully it has the same effect on me." She took another long drink from the bottle before handing it back to him. She tried to ignore the chills that went through her when his fingers grazed hers. Hopefully she was the only one who felt it.


	2. Little Things

**See I wasn't kidding, these little scenes just wont leave me alone. -.-  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

It sounded something awful outside. The wind was howling through Kirkwall, rain was pelting the roof tops and somewhere in the distance she could hear the thunderous cracks of lightening. Serai rolled over for what had to be the hundredth time that night. She loved falling asleep during a good storm, the soft sounds of the rain would usually put her right to sleep. Not this night though, she was restless. She had no idea why, the day had been very eventful. She'd had to attend a dress fitting early on for some noble event later that month, her mother _insisted_ they were going, had two meetings with "possible employers", and had even finished up a job out on the coast. A very eventful day indeed. However sleep would not take her.

Argus was happily snoozing under the covers next to her. He'd usually be sprawled out near the fire place but the hound wasn't as fond of storms as his mistress was. He hated them actually. She chuckled as she ran her fingers through his fur and his short tail thumped the sheets in response. She lay there for a while longer attempting to drift off until she couldn't sit still anymore. She finally sat up and threw the covers off her, though taking care not to disturb her hound. She grabbed her robe off the back of the chair slipping it on as she headed into the hallway and down the stairs.

She'd managed not to wake up the entire house on her trip to the kitchen, which was a bloody miracle seeing as she had ran into a table with a vase on it in the hall way nearly knocking it to the floor, had a bit of a coughing fit in the foyer, and almost fell down the last half of the stairs. Well, the Maker had a sense of humor. Or maybe she was just tired. Perhaps some tea would help calm whatever it was that was keeping her awake, and where were those pastries that large woman down the way made? Bonnie was one of Leandra's friends and she was a few cards short of a full deck as far as Serai was concerned, but she had a way with sweets and cakes that even she couldn't deny. She found the small finger cakes sitting on the highest shelf towards the back of the larder. Someone's attempt to keep them out of Sandal's reach no doubt.

After a few minutes of fussing with the fire she left the water to boil and settled into the chair underneath the window, She started munching on one of the sweets as she looked out the window into the night sky. The clouds were so dark. She could see parts of the moon peaking out as they moved slowly through the sky. She didn't know why but she thought of Fenris. What was he doing right now? Probably sleeping like all the other normal people in the world. She liked the way he looked in the moonlight. His tanned skin was accented beautifully with his white markings and his white hair. What an odd thing that was. It looked so soft though and he was very handsome. Wouldn't kill him to get his hair trimmed a bit more often but it suited him really. It was always covering his eyes and adding a certain...mysterious air about him.

She buried her face in her hands and tried to clear her head. She'd been thinking about him a lot lately and she hadn't the slightest idea why. Earlier in the month she'd started noticing things. Things that confused her honestly. She realized that whenever they were traveling together, she always ended up walking close to him. She found herself looking to him before anyone else when she needed an outside opinion on something, or just advice in general. She became more concerned with the sneering nobles "inquiring" about the elf in Hightown then the nobles giving her a hard time for being a Ferelden in Kirkwall's upper class...and she had no idea why.

She got up and fixed herself a small cup of the warm, soothing drink and took her seat at the window once more. The thing that actually bothered her the most, out of all these little things, was whatever it was about him she was thinking, her thoughts always brought her back to the same point: What the hell was going on between them? She honestly didn't know what to call their relationship. Relationship? Was that even a thing for them? Some days she felt like it could be. They would flirt occasionally, when the others weren't paying them too much attention. She'd started visiting him more often. Not so often that he'd get sick of her company, well she hoped anyways, but definitely more then the once-a-month house call that she'd done in the first year they'd met. She liked him and she liked his company. He wasn't a mage and he didn't like being around them anymore then she did. He was one of the few people who could make her feel better about the feelings she'd had towards Bethany. She'd had a really hard time dealing with that when she'd first come to Kirkwall and since she'd spoken to him about it, those feels made more sense to her then scared her. They actually agreed on a lot of the same things and honestly she felt like he was the only one who understood the way she was feeling most days. Although, when she'd tried pointing this out to him he'd simple told her they were not that much alike, that they were two completely different people.

Typical man, always determined to be a pain in the ass.

The clicking of nails on the stone floor pulled her out of her thoughts of the broody elf. Argus walked through the door frame yawning and she couldn't help but chuckle. He walked over to her and with his tail wagging put his head in her lap. She smiled and patted him behind the ear. "Looks like I did manage to wake someone up. Glad it's you though. Mother looks like a Genlock when she first wakes up. She'd have scared me half to death."

The hound merely huffed and nuzzled his head into her other hand. "Alright, alright. I was just finishing up anyway. Come on let's try to get some sleep tonight. Otherwise I'll be the one looking like a Genlock tomorrow." Argus tail began wagging again and he stood by the door as she cleaned up after herself. She stole one more moment to look out the widow into the night sky. The rain was still coming down hard and the moon light seemed just as dull. She sighed and started back to her room. Hopefully she'd be able to stop thinking about this long enough to get at least a few hours of sleep tonight.

* * *

Fenris was sitting in his usual chair with the usual wine bottle in his hand. He was staring into the fire place completely consumed by his thoughts. He'd had bad dreams, infact he had them most nights. But tonight... this dream was different. He had dreamed about Hawke. It had been the strangest thing. He'd never dreamed about anything other then his former life, or the lack there of. The emptiness, the torture, the ridicule, the _magisters..._

Why would he suddenly dream of Hawke? He hadn't even seen her that day. It was such a strange thing, and it left a bad taste in his mouth.

They had been outside in a meadow, lying sprawled out under a tree, in the middle of a warm afternoon. Hawke had been lying next to him. Her dark hair pooled around her face and she was smiling and laughing at everything he was saying. She had a flower tucked in her hair and she was fiddling with the hem of the plain linen top she was wearing. They had talked about random things, like the weather, music, and even her favorite foods. It had seemed like the dream went on forever. Them just laying there, enjoying each others company.

They'd never done anything like that before. Ever. There wasn't even any meadow that he'd ever been in since he'd come to Kirkwall.

So why would he dream something as ridiculous as that? He'd given her more thought in the past few days then he'd ever given her before. He noticed that he'd been included in more and more of their jobs lately. She rarely left him behind anymore. He'd been spending more nights drinking at the Hanged Man then he did drinking alone in his mansion. He had even picked out the new weapon he'd purchased because Hawke said it looked "perfect for him."

What did that even mean? Perfect for him? The blade was really nothing special. It was definitely better then the one he'd been wielding before but it wasn't an uncommon thing to find in the city. It was a long, sleek blade. The pommel of it was a deep black and the intricate designs on it made it a popular type with the nobles who rarely used it, but needed to have it anyways as a status symbol. He scoffed, the day he'd keep a blade as a status symbol. He'd never see it.

He'd mentioned this to Hawke and she'd merely shrugged. "I just think it'd look good on you..with you!...I mean in your hands. I..." she'd began stuttering nonsense and he just raised his eyebrow at her and gave her a questioning look until she finally stopped herself, pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration and sighed. "What I mean is that it's a fine blade and it is fit for a fine warrior. You are a fine warrior and would wield it well." She offered him a weak smile and then Isabella had popped her head up next to them and said "I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Fenris looks "_fine_". But you'll have to get in line Hawke. I get first dibs! Don't worry though, I've never had a problem with sharing." She slung her arm around his shoulder and winked at Hawke who's face had turned a deep pink.

She just grunted "Maker take me." turned, and quickly walked back over to where Sebastian and Varric were admiring a bow the weapon smith was trying to sell them. Isabella had just gone into a fit of giggles, winked at him, and went to collect Merril from the potion merchant that she'd been bothering. It had been a strange thing, but he'd bought the blade. Without even thinking about it really. She hadn't said anything else that day but a few days later she'd notice him waxing it on one of the nights they'd set camp in the mountains. She just smiled at him and said "See, I knew you'd take good care of it." With that she walked back over to her spot by the fire and laid next to her giant hound. He shook his head as he heard her cooing soft nothings to the mutt. Honestly, the way she babied that thing was ridiculous.

She was a strange woman and yet he understood her more then he did most women. He certainly couldn't make heads or tails of Isabella, or that waitress and the bar who was always trying to talk his ear off. When had he come so concerned with Hawke? And why? He didn't think they were friends. He'd never called her a friend before, but she had been visiting more often. She came around more then most of the people he talked to did...and Donnic and Varric were over a lot.

A crack of lightening shook his thoughts. He took a long sip from the bottle finishing off the bitter substance inside and he meekly tossed it into the fire. He walked over to the window and peered out. It would be daylight in a few hours and he knew the were planing on visiting Aveline tomorrow. Hawke had mentioned she said something about a personal favor and to be very discrete. He pulled the heavy curtain across the window and fell onto his bed. He should really try to get some sleep.

With that he did the best he could to not think about Hawke before he fell into the fade. Picking up the dream of Hawke and meadow he'd had before, right where it had left off.


	3. Can't Get Much Worse

**So I have just written these past few "chapters" because they were just this nagging idea in my head that needed some kind of escape. I woke up today and realized that people actually started following this and about passed out. Literally. So to every single one of you, thank you. You just unleashed about another dozen scenarios in my brain.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

What a shitty situation. But you know what they say, when it rains it pours. That, will usually make for a good story. Hawke was leading the group back towards Kirkwall. Varric, Sebastian, and Anders followed behind her as she stomped like a child with every step. Varric couldn't help but laugh. Hawke was a beautiful women but she was shorter then most. Isabella even towered over her a bit, but the way she was acting now, you'd think she was some prepubescent teen who just got grounded. He couldn't blame her really. Earlier in the day they'd been attacked by a group of slavers while on a run to the coast for some extra healing plants and what not. It wasn't supposed to be anything other then that. But Broody had come along too, and it appeared that Danarious hadn't given up on retrieving him yet. They had gotten rid of the slavers quickly of course, but before Fenris snapped the neck of the last man standing, or rather, crawling away from the battle, he got the information that some braud named Hadriana was hiding out in some caverns up the mountain a ways.

Apparently this was someone Fenris was very familiar with, Danarious' favorite lap dog or something. Hawke didn't hesitate with her response. "We can get the herbs and leaves another day. You said you know where these holding caves are? Lead the way." Fenris nodded in agreement and they were off. Thankfully the cavern wasn't too far away. Dwarfs don't have long legs and all this up hill shit was really getting on Varric's nerves. Why did it seem like they were always going up or down steps or hills? Couldn't a road just stay straight for a few miles? Ander's was already complaining too. For someone who lived in a dirty clinic that housed a bunch of sick patients at any given moment in time he was always complaining about mud and dirt and filth. "Wining like a child again Blondie? Don't worry you can clean your chicken feathers when we get back." Varric called back to the mage a few feet behind the group. Sebastian tried to stifle a chuckle and Anders replied "Hey! Shut it dwarf! These aren't chicken feathers, they are said to come from one of the rarest birds in Thedas! And you, Sebastian, you shut it too!"

"Yeah, well do you know the name of this rare bird then? I'm sure it's one we've never heard of before, but let's hear it Blondie!" Anders just shot him an annoyed scowl which just sent the dwarf and the brother into another fit of giggles. Fenris and Hawke were silent the entire trek up mountain.

When they finally reached the entrance to the cave they all readied themselves for what was waiting inside.

* * *

The three men stood in the back corner after the last battle was over. Fenris was peering down at Hadriana, his sword at the ready. She was begging, trying to bargain for her life. Hawke stood somewhere in between Fenris and the three men. Once, Fenris had looked to her and she merely returned his gaze, nodded, and looked away. She was leaving the outcome of today up to him. Hawke very rarely let anyone make a decision other then her. It made it easier, if something went wrong it was on her, and if it went right then they all survived. But today, this... she was leaving this up to Fenris.

Hadriana only had enough time to stutter a few "buts" before the elf ripped her heart out and crushed it right in front of her eyes. No one seemed surprised, but Sebastien started praying or chanting something quietly. Hawke stepped towards the elf. "Do we need to talk about this?" Her voice was quite and even Varric could hear the concern in it.

"NO I don't want to talk about this! This could be another trap! Danarious could have sent her here to tell me about this sister. Even if he didn't, if she knows about her **he** will **know** _she_ knows about her! Trying to find her would be suicide!" He was pacing back and fourth and it seemed like he was raging to himself more then anyone else for a moment. Suddenly he stopped in front of the magister's lifeless corpse and glared at it. Then in a moment he turned to Hawke and was in her face again. "It doesn't matter. The only thing the matters is that I finally got to crush this bitches heart. May she rot, and all the other mages with her." He almost spat the words out like they were poison as he turned and hung his head. Now Ander's was mumbling something about being reasonable, but Hawke shot him a glare and he shut right up.

She turned back to the elf, reached out and gently touched his shoulder. "Maybe we should leave now." Her voice was almost a whisper. Fenris recoiled from her touch. "Don't! Don't comfort me. You saw what was done here! There's always going to be some reason, some excuse for why mages need to do this. Even if I found this bloody sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her? What does magic touch that it doesn't spoil?"

Hawke gave him a small nod and just hung her head. She didn't know what to say. None of them did. "I...need to go." with that he just turned and headed the way they'd come. Varric saw the way she starred at the door he'd disappeared through, the small step she'd taken as he had started to leave, and the way her hand was shaking as she restrained herself from stepping again. She wanted to go after him, but something was keeping her there. After a moment she finally spoke. "Come on. We'll see what we can find laying around here. We'll catch up with him later." With that she began searching the random trunks in the corner, Anders and Sebastian started with the skeletons, and Varric made his way over to the magister. Her empty gaze looked back at him. "This is going to be one hell of a trip back to the city." he thought to himself.

* * *

Varric's instincts had proved right. When they'd finally reached the entrance to the cave again Broody was no where to be found. Sebastian tracked him a ways, he was heading back to town, but then he'd gone off in completely different direction. Hawke was Furious. She wasn't talking to anyone just stomping along and quietly fuming at the head of the group. All of a sudden Sebastian spoke up. "You know there is a bright side to this. At least we know that this Hadriana woman will never be a threat to him again. From what I understand she was one of this Danarious' best, and now she's out of the picture. None of us were seriously hurt, and there was a fair amount of loot. I'd say today was a job well done."

"Oh yes." Hawke's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "We got to go five miles out of our way because we got attacked by bloody slavers for the tenth time in the past two weeks. We got to fight our way through a cavern of filthy blood mages, added an elf girl to the long list of people I have to hand my money over to, got separated from Fenris, got a load of merchant's loot rather then something useful like a dagger or a great sword to replace the broken weapons half of us already have...oh and Ander's has decided to bless us with his constant bitching about his goose feathers or whatever. Yes Sebastien, the Maker has blessed us indeed." She threw her arms up on the last line and rolled her eyes. He was a git sometimes. "Hey!" This came from Anders of course, as he crossed his arms and began to look a lot like Broody Varric thought. "Oh Andraste's ass of course. First the mud, then the slavers, and now the rain?! My feathers are ruined, just bloody ruined!" Everyone had felt the subtle drops falling for the past mile but it hadn't been close to even a drizzle.

But now the rain was coming faster and harder. Their hair and clothes quickly became plastered to their bodies. After only a few moments their weapons seemed to have come clean of all the filth and blood from the battle before. Hawke was cursing under her breath as she glared up into the grey skys overhead. Something about stubborn fools and rotten Tevinters. Sebastian nudged Anders in the side "Well at least it's not a serious storm. There's no thunder and it looks like it's going to stay pretty steady aye?" Anders just glared at him. Obviously his feathers were the only thing he was concerned with at the moment, he and Fenris weren't friends or anything so he wasn't too upset when the elf stormed off. They just had a mutual friend, or a mutual love interest as far as Varric was convinced. They thought they were slick they did, but Varric had seen the way they looked at her. Anders always had this pathetic face whenever she turned from him, or always looked like he wanted to smack her then kiss her when they would argue. Fenris would always watch her, even when they were in battle, he'd always find a way to be close to Hawke. It got kind of creepy sometimes actually.

* * *

They had almost reached the base of the mountain. The power of the rain had only increased as they descended and suddenly lightening lit up the sky. The thunder was deafening and caused everyone in the group to become a bit more aware of their surroundings. It seemed that Sebastian couldn't help but stay positive. "Well, at least now we know it can't possibly get worse then this." He clapped Varric on the shoulder and gave him one of his stunning smiles.

It wasn't his fault really. He'd only been on a few jobs with them and those hadn't been so bad. No real challenges for the group. Hawke had always been in a decent mood. But no one was surprised, other then Sebastian that is, when she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks after that comment. She turned on her heel, marched right up to him and slapped him right across his face. He was shocked. Varric and Anders just smirked and watched as she threw her arms on her hips and looked right up at the brother. "If you say one. More. Thing. About how great today is and how this fucked up situation can't possibly get any worse because the Maker is _"helping"_ with his sick sense of humor I will make you eat an arrow. Maker be my _witness _I'll make you eat a dozen_._" The last words came out in a hiss. Hawke was really pissed, Sebastien was in utter shock and Varric and Ander's were hysterical. She was much shorter then Sebastian, her long dark hair had gone straight and plastered itself to to side of her face. And she was glaring daggers right through him.

It took a moment for the brother to realize she was waiting for some sort of acknowledgment, and he just nodded his head with his mouth still slightly hanging agape. She just turned from him and resumed her stomping towards the city. They wouldn't be out much longer, the city was starting to come into view. After an hours half or so and they'd all be safe and sound back home.

* * *

By the time they reached the city they were all drained, but Hawke was still stomping forward. Sebastian excused himself as soon as the Chantry came into view. Hawke didn't even look at him when she told him that she'd be calling for him tomorrow because they really did need to get those "blasted weeds". He nodded and without another word all but ran up the Chantry steps. Varric just shook his head and grinned. Poor lad had to learn the hard way that her bad temper was, well, pretty bad. Oh well, he'd get used to it.

Ander's offered to walk Hawke home but she just told him, "No thanks." and kept marching towards Hightown. "I'll see you tomorrow Varric. Sorry about today." She sounded tired. Anders had one of those sad pathetic looks on his face when he waved to Varric and turned down the nearest ally.

"Don't worry about it Hawke, one day we'll look back on this day, when we're reading it out of the epic adventure story that I'm writing, and laugh." The corner of her mouth tugged up at that. "Andraste's ass I hope so." He nodded and went his own way towards his proverbial suit at the Hanged Man. Poor girl. Didn't realize how love sick she was over that broody bastard.

* * *

Hawke walked right past her house and straight to the worst end of Hightown. It was the worst, in her opinion, because it was up all those damn steps and everyone living there was a bloody noble who couldn't find their ass with both hands. Other then the occupant in the mansion on the corner, the one nearly falling to bits. "That tattooed elven ass better be safe and drunk in those crumbling walls or Maker help me I'll skin him alive." she thought to herself as she shoved the door open. She called his name as she entered the main hall.

Nothing. Just silence.

She walked up the stairs to his room and nudged the half opened door the rest of the way. His chair was placed in front of the fire, which had dwindle down to nothing but a small flame, bottles littered every surface of the room, books were thrown about the floor, his bed was an endless sea of tattered blankets and pillows. Everything looked normal. He hadn't been back here since the caverns, which had been hours ago by now. Stubborn ass.

She removed her pack, threw it onto the table by the crooked book case along with her daggers and her grieves. She found a half emptied bottle of some kind of Orleasion wine. That bastard was going to make her lose her mind worrying over him, so he would lose some of his bloody wine.


	4. Must be Lonely

**First off I'd like to say this one was actually kind of hard to write. Our brains see things so quickly sometimes and it was pretty hard to think of a storyline to match up with this scene. Also, I can't put a name to the genius who thought of this because it's been such a long time since I've heard it (& that really bothers me because this comparison is the best way to describe it) but I just want to point out this was not any genius on my part. Anyways, a while ago I heard someone compare Fenris' voice to that of "dark chocolate poured over rough gravel" or something along those lines and nearly died. Because that's SO what he sounds like. A bitter, dreamy, edgy, and sexy mess of an elf. I know this one is short but I just type em' up as they come to me. As always I hope you guys enjoy!**

**_Edit/Update :03/30/13_  
I had someone tell me that Hatsepsut had done the voice comparison in one of their stories! As I said before it's been too long since I've first heard it for me to remember exactly but I want to give credit where it is due as much as possible. Just wanted to make sure I let you guys know, as well as thanking Fidgy for pointing it out for me. :) You guys are so awesome.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

As she looked up at the moon she realized she had no idea how late, or maybe how early it was. She pulled her cloak around her a bit tighter and let her feet carry her down the cool stone steps towards the chantry. It had been so long since she'd been outside, the cold wind that blew through her hair felt refreshing.

Just how long had it been? It seemed like ages but honestly she wasn't completely sure. She had lost all track of time at one point and although she could guess when a new day had come or when night was falling by the movements of the mansions occupants, she'd never actually gained the exact time or day back. Not like she cared much, it didn't matter anymore. Nothing really did. She was alone, she finally had gotten what she wanted, but now she was alone. She never thought it would feel like this. Having no responsibility for anyone other then herself, not having to stick to the shadows in fear of Bethany getting them all caught, not remaining in a constant screaming match with Carver that would last for days, not having to go out and do any jobs unless she actually wanted to take them, not having her mother lecture her on how she was not living up to what she or everyone else expected her to be...

She'd spent so many nights asking the Maker to take her away from it all, to give her a new life or just let all the bullshit family drama stop. Now that she had all this, the feelings that came with it were so confusing she'd done everything in her power to make them go away. She vaguely remembered Aveline coming into the wine cellar, Maker only knows when that had happened, where she'd been sprawled out on a bed of empty barrels surrounded by some old glasses and wine bottles that had been tossed aside at some point, to yell at her to get up or to go do something that didn't involve "drowning herself in her grief." But Hawke had merely laughed at her, or giggled actually, uncontrollably for what felt like an hour. She couldn't remember Aveline leaving.

She hadn't thought about her companions in a long time actually, at least it felt like a long time. Varric had written to her plenty, begging her to write back. She never did. Aveline was the only one who came around and most of the time, according to Bodahn, Hawke was so passed sloshed she didn't even notice or couldn't be woken up to be informed of the Guard Captain's presence. Everyone except Argus had stayed away. That's how she had wanted it. She wanted to be alone, but didn't understand what that meant until it was too late. She was indeed drowning in the emptiness she felt.

She wondered how they all were. Those filthy abominations, the slutty pirate, the annoying chantry brother, that guard Aveline had been going on and on about, Fenris...

He had never come. Never wrote, never sent word... She couldn't really blame him though he was like that. She said she wanted to be alone, he would give her that. Of course he would. He always gave her what she needed.

She didn't even realize that she was well pass the Chantry now, and walking towards the door of the only broken down mansion in the city.

* * *

By the time she reached the top of the stairs the tears were already falling quietly down her face. Her feet seemed to be moving of their own accord and she could feel that hole in her chest that made it hard to breath. The fire place lit the room and it spilled into the hallway. She heard the chair screech across the floor and he almost met her at the door way. The surprise in his face was clear.

"Hawke?"

She let her eyes fall to the floor, her head turning down as they did. "It's late, were you out by yourself? That's not safe. Is something wrong? What happened?" He sounded a bit angry and...worried, all at once. That would have been comforting to her if she hadn't been trying to will herself to take a breath. In two steps with those long, lanky legs he was right in front of her. He gently put his fingers under her chin and willed her to look at him, rather then the cracks in the floor. His gauntlets were on, and she couldn't help but smile. He never took those damn things off. It felt a little bit easier to breathe then, gazing up at those striking green eyes that were filled with concern. It felt like it had been so long since she'd seen that. "Are you hurt?" His voice sounded bitter, like the sweets a merchant would sell, and the way he spoke was rough like it always had been.

She just looked at him for a moment trying to figure out how to say everything she was feeling, to tell him everything that was wrong and how she had failed in so many unforgivable ways. But she couldn't and he understood that. With a small nod he walked her over to her chair and when she settled into in he took a seat in his. Grabbing a wine bottle seemingly out of nowhere he took a long swig and he waited. He watched her watch him, and he waited.

After a few moments she heard her voice in her ears before she realized she was willing the words out of her mouth. "I just thought I'd bring you this. Varric sent it to me a few days ago, or a few weeks, I don't really remember." She removed the pouch from her belt and held it out towards him. With the hand that wasn't squeezing the wine bottle, he took it. Placing it in his lap he undid the tie and peered inside. Why did he look so confused?

"Hawke...what is all this for?" He sounded confused too.

"It's the rest of what we found in the Deep Roads. Varric sold those last few pieces I think. I wanted to bring it to you sooner, I'm sorry it took so long." She turned her gaze to the fire place. Was it hot in here or was she losing it. Probably the latter. She reached up and wiped the tears that were drying on her cheeks, she had stopped crying but she was sure she looked an absolute mess.

"You came here, to give me a large amount of money, in the middle of the night, by yourself?" It sounded like more of a statement then a question so she just kept her gaze fixed on the dancing flames. "Hawke... Varric sent me my cut from those last few pieces a few weeks ago. You don't need to pay me again." He started tying up the pouch to hand it back to her when she nearly shouted "No!" He had jumped at the sudden out burst, but the look on his face was as calm and collected as ever. Serai however, could feel her eyes go big and the tears pushing behind her eyelids again.

"That's Carver's cut. I don't want to keep it for myself. I can't keep it, I..." She just stared at him, the tears pushing at the back of her lids threatening to fall down her cheek, and after a few moments he nodded but he didn't move. Finally there they went, the silent tears were flowing again and before she knew it she had stood up and carried herself back over to the door she'd come through. "I'm sorry for coming so late, I could have had it delivered tomorrow, this was incredibly stupid and I shouldn't have disturbed you." Before she could get a toe out the door he was behind her and she felt his gauntlet on her shoulder.

"You don't need to leave. I'm here, Hawke." She stopped dead in her tracks, and he turned her to face him. Their eyes locked once more and before she knew it she was reaching for him. Her arms wound around his neck and her lips met his. One of his hands fell to her hips while the other twisted in the hair at the base of her neck, he pulled her closer and it was perfect. It wasn't harsh, it wasn't gentle, but it was comforting. It had been so long since she'd felt anything other then emptiness and the pain that came with it. But he felt warm, safe, secure, and strong. Everything she hadn't felt for a while now. They allowed themselves to get lost in each other for a few moments before he pulled his lips away from hers to take a breath. She let her head fall to his shoulder and held on tight. He just placed his arms around her waist and held her. She had missed him so much.


	5. When Did That Happen

**Hello! It's been a minute huh? Has anyone else ever wished that there was just...more to the story of Hawke and Fenris' love life before it went all sour and dour? I'd like to think so! This one was a bit more challenging for me. It is never easy to write from his point of view because I never want to ruin the idea of him. I hope this isn't too far off from character. As always I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you're thinking! It really helps me out! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

It was a nice morning in Kirkwall, a very nice morning indeed. The sun was rising higher in the sky and the crisp morning air was welcome. It felt clean, and it helped keep the group awake while they had traveled in the earlier hours. They had been on the road practically all through out the night and were just now returning from a run for some "ingredients" for that annoying mage in the gallows. Why were they always getting stuff for him? Fenris had yet to see any value in the time and effort they spent on these time consuming, senseless, and dangerous jobs, but Hawke always reassured him that it needed to be done for one reason or another. He'd always grunt at her and shake his head. She needed to be more careful he thought, and he told her so on countless occasions, but it had never seemed to sink in. Stubborn woman.

They had all parted ways only moments ago. Hawke returning to her mansion, Varric to his suite at the bar, that blood mage to her little hole in the Alienage, and Fenris was just now shutting the heavy door to his decaying mansion behind him. It seemed like the higher he climbed the cold stone steps the more tired he became. When he reached the door way of his main room, an odd scent embraced him. Only... he couldn't place a finger on what exactly it was.

It smelled very...warm? "What is that?" The elf's senses woke him up immediately. Something was different about his room. He didn't remember it smelling like this before? Where was it coming from? He kept his sword sheathed, but his fingers were twitching with anticipation. Someone had been in his house. He ran back down the mansions great hall and began a sweep of the structure. All the side rooms in the halls were empty and just as destroyed as they'd always been, the cellar was empty save for his collection of wine bottles, both empty and full. The sheet of dust that covered the surfaces in the larder lay untouched and even the small garden to the back of the house was just as he'd left it.

"You are being foolish. If someone was in here, surely they'd have shown themselves by now." He shook his head as he scolded himself and began the trek back to his room. But again, as he entered he was hit by that smell. It wasn't a bad smell per say, it was actually very familiar, but he felt like the knowledge of what it belonged to was at the tip of his memory. He took his great sword off it's almost permanent spot on his back and laid it against the wall. He wandered around the room for a moment not touching anything but letting his eyes search for anything out of the ordinary, determined to try and find where exactly the scent was coming from. Honestly he couldn't really tell, it seemed to be everywhere at once, but coming from no where. He wandered over to the book shelf and moved a few tomes around, he checked under his chairs, and some of the rubble that littered the floor in the corner. After a while, the sleepless night he'd had began to catch up with him. His eyes felt heavy and the aches he'd been ignoring in his arms began to make themselves known more and more.

He'd almost forgotten about what he was actually looking for anyways. Now that he'd been exposed to it for so long he assumed his senses had grown accustomed to whatever it was that was causing the disruptive smell. He'd worry about it later, perhaps. He spent a few moments lighting a small fire and then walked around the room drawing the heavy velvet curtains in front of the windows. The sun was high in the sky now and if he was going to get any sleep he'd best try now, before all the loud nobles he lived so closely to began arguing and chatting underneath his windows. He carelessly removed the upper part of his armor and tossed it on the bottom edge of the bed. Without bothering to fuss with his leggings he allowed himself to fall face first into his pile of mismatch sheets and pillows.

And with the first breath he inhaled it hit him like a blow to the face. That scent, it was coming from his bed, and just as quickly as he was reminded there was a smell in the first place, he remembered exactly where or rather who it came from. It smelled like daisies and foreign spices that he could never quite recall.

Hawke. Hawke's hair, to be exact. He didn't know if it was the flowers she kept in her clothing closet, the petals she used to give a light scent to her bath water, or the expensive soaps that she liked to indulge in when that fancy merchant from Orlais came to town every few months. It was all the same though, it all made her smell like her, and apparently she had mad his bedding smell like her too.

He felt so many different emotions flood through him, and it sparked a bit of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. Of course he should have thought of this, that he'd smell her here. She'd been here enough in recent days, he hadn't washed his sheets...ever really, and he'd been out of his home for a few days now. What surprised, and scared, him however, was the comforting sensation that had fallen over him as soon as his brain had connected the dots that the scent had come from her. They'd spent a lot of time together as of late, and she had definitely been in his bed during most of that time. They'd spent their time together talking late into the night, drinking his wine and talking about different things, or tangled up in a mess of blankets, pillows, and one another.

He liked being tangled up in her. At first he just felt distracted, it was a nice way for both of them to get away from the world, her from her mother and her responsibilities, he from his hunters and his past, but it quickly turned into something more before either of them had even realized it apparently. Instead of her getting up and demanding more wine with a smirk on her face she had begun to linger for a time, cradled into his side and laying with her head on his shoulder. It had changed for him too. Instead of immediately getting out of bed to go stare out the window or to poke at the fire he'd begun to lay with his fingers tangled in her long brunette locks and ask her all kinds of things. Random and senseless things, he'd always wanted those moments they spent to be drawn out for as long as possible. The night usually ended with a peck on her hand or on his cheek, but lately the night had turned to day, and she'd let herself out before he'd even wake up.

When did all this happen? When had he begun to feel these things, and more importantly, why? Hawke was a good person, he knew that and would gladly admit it to any one who asked, but they had disagreements too. Serai was a special type of person, there was no doubting that. He couldn't help but wonder however, when she became so special to him? The others in the group made jokes about them on a daily basis, but they'd also make jokes about Sebastian and Hawke or he and Isabella. None of them really knew what they'd been up too. At least as far as he knew.

Serai...when had he started knowing her as anything other then Hawke?

The sinking feeling in his stomach felt like it went all the way down to the cellar. What were these feelings and how long had he been ignoring them, or ignorant to them? Fenris closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed in frustration, something he'd seen Hawke do a thousand times. When he realized the gesture he quickly pulled his hand away and rolled his eyes. Another one of her gestures he was apparently too familiar with. He tried to shake the thoughts from his mind, he really needed to get some sleep if he was going to be of any use to anyone when they checked on the Bone Pit the following day. He rolled over onto his side and pulled the blankets up over his chest. Eventually his thoughts allowed him to slip slowly into a deep sleep, he would later refuse to admit to himself that the comforting aroma he was wrapped up in had anything to do with the sound sleep he got that day.


	6. Here We Go Again

**You know what's awesome? When people talk about you like you aren't there. Hawke knows how that feels, her friends do it to her all the time! Poor Hawke. ****Also, a large part of this conversation, of course, is from the actual game. I just wanted to put a bit of my own spin on it because I always picture this being what would actually happen with my Hawke. She would not stand for this, oh no! Also keep your eyes peeled, I've been working on this thing with Carver for a while, and it feels like it's taking forever, but I think he's almost ready for a come back! ;) As always hope you guys enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

"I can't imagine what Hawke see's in you." Anders almost spat the words out. For the love of the Maker she couldn't believe they were about to get into it again. Her and Fenris hadn't even talked about it with each other and it seemed like it was the only thing he and Anders even argued about anymore, which was saying something because one of the only things that hadn't changed over the years was that arguing with one another was all the elf and abomination did.

"It is done. Leave it be." He made it sound so final, so sure. Hawke hated when the conversation took this turn. Even though he had walked out on her, after a few weeks she had convinced herself that he just needed time. Maybe once he spent a little time away from her he'd miss her as much as she missed him. She never knew what she'd done that night that had made it different. He had come to her in a distressed state, but she'd gone to him many nights the same way. It had never ended like that before. She didn't understand what she'd done wrong, or why instead of wanting to work on recovering those memories he longed for, he wanted to keep them shut out, and her along with them.

What was even more annoying and upsetting then them having the same argument a thousand times was that they did it when she was within ear shot of the conversation. The first few times they'd at least kept it between the two of them, whispers and small hand gestures kept from her and the rest of the party. Then one day Merril got into the conversation as well and didn't keep her voice as low as she should have. Hawke had heard the topic and they'd tried to change the subject but it was too late. She'd already heard. After that day it seemed like they didn't notice whether she was there or not anymore. They didn't exactly shout it in the square, but they had abandoned whispering and slight gestures and just bickered back and fourth for anyone within ten feet of them to hear, obviously Hawke included.

"Well good. I always knew she had some sense. Even if it took a few months for it to kick in." Anders smirked at Sebastian, the lucky audience to enjoy the show today, who just bowed his head and started chanting under his breath. Hawke could never tell if he was praying for them or for her.

"Do not make light of this! Leaving was the hardest thing I've ever done." The volume of the argument was growing already and honestly Serai just wasn't in the mood to hear it. She quickened her steps to try to put a little bit of distance between her and the group with Argus on her heels. She didn't blame the hound, she was sure he'd grown as tired of the pointless conversation as she had. It didn't change anything, and to be quite honest, it just made her feel horrible.

"Oh don't be all dramatic about it elf, you rip out people's hearts every day. It was only a matter of time before you did it to Hawke as well." Anders just wouldn't let it go today.

"Actually I was thinking of changing my technique. Maybe ripping someones throat out would make more sense. At least then I wouldn't have to hear any more whimpering or wining from pathetic fools." Fenris' deep voice was nearly dripping with venom and although Hawke had managed to get a few feet ahead, she could still hear the words loud and clear."Unless you'd like me to rip your heart out. If that's the case, I'd be glad to do that one last time, just for you."

The images suddenly flew back to her in a rush. Him rushing in the door, being pushed into the wall, fumbling up the stairs, the way he smelled, the way he tasted... Then the rest of the memories hit her. The empty bed, the look in his eyes when he looked at her, the way he didn't even hesitate when he walked out the door, or falter even though she followed him calling out for him to wait, the way the sound echoed through the house and through her heart as he slammed her heavy front door.

Everything came back all at once, and for the first time, she felt like she could maybe understand why it had been so upsetting for him to recall everything in a moment. Because it was like the pain of loosing him that night hit her all over again like a blow to the gut.

"I swear, a rabid dog is more human then you are. What anyone could see in someone as monstrous as you is beyond my understanding."

"And I am more human then that monster who attacked Hawke's mother, one of your brethren of course."

"I had no dealings with him! How could you even say that? You are so easy to knock all mages down for the mistakes of one! Don't think we don't all know the only reason she turned that poor elven boy in was because YOU influenced her to do it!"

"The mistakes of one?! How many mages have we come across in the past two weeks that have made mistakes like that? It's not one mage who is weak, it is a larger amount entirely."

"Were you trying to direct that at me? As if I have done something wrong, or something weak? Maybe you should be talking to Merril, she gets upset about your meaningless talk more then I do."

"I can not believe I am having this conversation with an abomination? Oh yes, tell me, how strong you were when you killed that innocent mage girl that you claimed you were trying to save."

All of a sudden, she couldn't handle it anymore. The tears were streaming down her face. She didn't care. She turned on her heel, took two steps and crashed right into Anders. He hadn't seen her coming, too busy glaring daggers into Fenris she guessed but she didn't care. He turned his gaze to her and looked shocked and confused all at once. "Oh Hawke I'm so sorry, I didn't even-"

"See me?" She cut him off. "That's probably because you're too busy pretending I'm not here as you discuss personal matters of my social life. Thanks for that by the way. I'm sure the merchants guild will love doing business with me now that they know all the details about my love life!" She was shouting, much louder then the two men had been and if the people around them hadn't been paying attention to the conversation, the were sure looking at the scene in front of them now.

"You two have nothing better to argue about then me? As if it wasn't hard enough to deal with everything the first time around you're going to keep bringing it up until the next age rolls around. You two are bloody fools. Leave what I do and who I do it with where it belongs, in my business and out of your mouths!"

She was so angry she was shaking. Anders met her glare with a stupid look on his face his mouth hanging open. She turned her glare on to Fenris and he too was looking at her wide eyed and shocked. When his eyes met hers though, he just hung his head and let his gaze fall to the ground.

She shook her head and let out a small laugh. "You two are absolutely pathetic."

With that she walked right past them back towards her empty home. Bodahn and Sandal had said something about going to the next town over to have a meeting with someone who had contacted him about Sandals abilities. Orana had gone to the Alienage early that morning, at Hawke's request, to spend the day getting some fresh air. Argus was trotting beside his mistress and let out a low wine.

She let out a little sigh, as silent tears continued to flow down her cheeks. "It's ok boy, we needed a day off anyway. Come on, we'll lock ourselves in the library with some chicken bones and some tea. With that the dog gave a happy bark and began walking slightly ahead of his mistress. She chuckled and wiped the tears from her face.

If those two wanted to argue about who was more of an idiot all day, they were welcome to do it far away from her. It had been a horrible year, and she didn't need them reminding her of that constantly. All she wanted to do was move on. Maybe she needed to convince herself to do that in more areas of her life then one...


	7. Bait

**I love writing with Carver, he is so much fun to work with. This one's a bit longer then what I usually write, but I really got into it with this scene. I want to tell you all again how absolutely awesome you are. When I put the first chapter of this one shot series up I didn't even think anyone would see it. I've been getting a few reviews, a few favorites and followers and I've got to tell you, it blows my mind! But it's also a great motivator, and I think that's why this one was so easy to write. Thank you so much, you are all so wonderful. As always, I really hope you enjoy.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

The air was hot this evening. The sun had gone down hours ago but the air was as thick and heavy as it had been earlier in the day. Fenris was leaning on a large pillar on the roof of the traders post. Anso was pacing back and fourth in the street below trying to act like he was looking for something in his bags of product and luggage. The dwarf dared a look around the square and when he saw no one else around he looked up to the elf in the shadows and shrugged his shoulders. Fenris nodded once and put his hand up. The dwarf shook his head, let out a sigh and continued rummaging through his things.

When Fenris had talked to Anso earlier that morning, he had sounded so sure that one of his contacts had found someone desperate enough for money that they would accept a paying job without asking much questions, but was more then capable of taking care of things should any...complications come up. They'd only been waiting maybe a half hours time, and the dwarf was already shaking in his boots and ready to give up for the night. Fenris knew better however. Anso was more then aware that he could easily protect him should any unwanted thugs or merchant guild members come across him alone at night. The big black sky however, was another matter entirely. Fenris couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. The dwarf had told him on countless occasions that he was never sure if he was completely planted on the ground, or if he'd magically be sucked up into the clouds. What a ridiculous thing to be afraid of.

Fenris was pulled from his thoughts by an odd laughter. He reseeded into the shadows once more, but had a clear view of the scene before him. There were three people walking towards Anso, a dwarf carrying a crossbow, a tall man with a giant sword on his back, and a rather small woman with rather large daggers on her hips. Fenris couldn't help but find it peculiar that of the three, the small woman seemed to be the lead, and the odd laughter had apparently been coming from her.

She bowed to Anso who seemed in a bit of a rush to send the three off to do the job. The conversation was quick but it looked like the party had agreed to the terms as they began walking towards the Alienage once more. They could have just gone back to where ever it was they had come but as soon as they turned the corner Anso touched his index finger to his nose, signaling Fenris that they had indeed taken the bait.

Fenris easily worked his way down the side of the building, leveraging himself with the thick red tapestries that were always hung up on the sides. He hit the ground with the smallest of sounds, right next to Anso.

"Well, they were a bit different. Did you see that dwarf, with a crossbow? I've never seen the likes! And being led around by a woman nonetheless..." Anso looked back the way the small group had walked and then turned his attention back to Fenris "Kirkwall is all kinds of strange, I tell ya. Anyway, they took the job, so you'll have nothing to worry about." He smiled up at the elf and held out his hand.

"Thank you Anso. I don't know how to repay you for helping me with this. Do you think, however, that they will be able to handle this?" The two began walking towards the cart that was on the other side of the trading post building. Fenris had insisted that Anso bring a safe way of departure, so he could keep an eye on the slavers. "Well, when Meeren told me that he knew someone who'd be able to do a job like this with their eyes shut, he didn't mention that it would be the Hawkes. If he had, I wouldn't even had wasted my time worrying about getting a decent body for the job." He chuckled at that.

"The Hawkes?" Fenris raised his brow in question. He was fairly familiar with all the groups of thugs and mercenaries in Kirkwall, and he'd never heard of any Hawkes before. Maybe they were new here, from another land or just now becoming known...

"They're Ferelden's if you can imagine that. They use to run for Meeren, but last I heard they were working on their own now. They must still be contacts though, if he's passing work their way. Who knows though. I don't know everything that's going on around here just yet, though I can't believe you've heard nothing of them? Even I've gotten a whiff of their work and I've only been here as long as you have."

"I'm sure it wont take long before you do know everything that's going on here." Fenris replied coolly. He liked Anso, more then anyone else he'd met in the past few years. But the dwarf was slippery, the only reason he had trusted him thus far was because he knew Anso thought he was the best bodyguard he'd ever found. As the dwarf helped himself into his carriage and let the driver and guard know he was almost ready he stuck his head out the small opening. "You know if you ever change your mind, of if this goes sour, I'd still be honored to have you along Fenris."

"Thank you Anso. If things change, I'll keep that in mind. You can be sure of it."

The dwarf smiled down at him and then told the driver to 'haul arse'. Fenris watched them until they disappeared down the stairs before he took to the roof tops again. It'd be fairly easy to catch up with the party unseen when traveling from above. Plus, he'd get a great view of the action.

* * *

When he did catch up with the three strangers, or the Hawkes, they had made it too the Alienage and were gathered around the large base of the tree. The woman was talking to the dwarf and the larger man was standing off to the side with his arms crossed. Fenris was still to far to see precise details or hear exactly what was being said, but he could see a bit. The man and woman both had dark hair, his cut short and messy, hers down to her midsection with loose curls and waves. The dwarf had blond hair and his over coat looked like it was only buttoned up a third of the way. They made their way into the hovel before Fenris could make out much more. So he waited.

* * *

By the time they'd made their way out of the hovel, the group had only been inside a few minutes really. The men were easily dispatched and disposed of and Hawke made her way over to the chest in the corner of the room. "Ah hah! This must be our jumpy friends goods." She smiled at Varric and bent down to check it out. "This one was easier then a peg legged tavern wench, wonder why Meeran wanted us to pick this up. Surely his little boys could have taken care of this." Varric ran his fingers through the stubble on his chin.

"Well, he did say something about them having a large amount of jobs this week. Maybe this was just one they didn't have time for. Either way, it was quick, painless, and we are getting pa-" Hawke stopped mid sentence when she finally threw open the chest. It was empty. Not even a spec on dust lay at the bottom.

"What's this? It's empty! What a bloody waste of time, who would put us up to this?" Carver shouted as he threw his hands up in the air.

"Hawke was silent a moment before she stood up and walked back to the front door. "I don't know, but it looks like we have no choice but to go back to Anso and tell him."

"Oh we'll tell him. Tell him he better pay us for wasting our bloody time, risking our bloody necks, and leading us bloody on!"

"Oh put a lid on it Carver. There's nothing we can do about it now except," Hawke stepped out into the Alienage and as she did so a woman's voice interrupted her.

"That's not the elf. Who is that?" About ten men surrounded the group of three, one of them carrying a staff in her hand.

"Oh is it time for target practice already? And here I thought that wasn't supposed to be until tomorrow night. You sure do keep me on my toes Hawke." Varric pulled Bianca out of her bed on his back and put her in position, as Hawke readied her daggers and Carver held up his sword.

"It doesn't matter," one of the masked men replied. "Boss said to kill whoever entered the house. Let's take care of them." Before he knew what had hit him, an arrow pierced his neck. The man fell to the ground clutching his throat making ghastly noises. "Let's get this over with." said Varric.

* * *

After the group of slavers were taken care of, all lying dead in pools of their own blood, the three made their way up the steps leading out of the Alienage. "So they were after an elf? What kind of job was this supposed to be? I thought we were just getting back some merchandise, not slaves." Hawke placed her daggers back in their homes at her sides, then yet another man, dressed in the same armor as the others they'd just killed stepped right in front of her.

"I don't know who you are friend, but you've made a serious mistake coming here. Do you know how much it's going to cost me to replace all those men?" He shot an evil, sinister smile at Hawke and she made to move for her daggers once more. "I want everyone in the clearing now, Lieutenant!"

A man came stumbling up behind him. His armor looked like it had taken no damage, but blood was flowing out of his mouth and it seemed like he left a river of it behind him with every step he took. "Captain..." was all he managed to get out before he fell face first to the stone ground.

"Your men are dead and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you still have the chance, better yet, getting out of the city before I find him first." A white haired elf stepped out from behind the steps that the dead man had just fallen out from and walked right past the Captian towards Hawke.

His hair was impossibly white and he had the strangest armor she'd ever seen. It seemed more like an outfit, really. He wore all black and the shoulder blades had feathers adorning them. It made him look sharp and dangerous. The grieves he wore were even better as they looked more like claws then gloves, the sharp finger tips mad his hands look a bit too large for his body, and the only real armor from what she could see was a huge pointed plate covering his chest. He had markings that adorned not only his arms and feet, but his neck and chin which looked beautiful. They were white and Serai had never seen anything like them before.

Before the elf could get out of arms reach of the man, the captain pulled hard on the elf's shoulder but it seemed he'd had no effect on the elf. "You are going no where slave." Without any warning a bright light seemed to burst out of nowhere, out of the elf! It disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared and when Hawke's eyes adjusted the sight struck her speechless.

The elf was standing above the man, who had apparently fallen to the ground in a pool of blood. The elf dropped something right on the mans chest as he took his last breath, and coolly stated "I am not a slave." Before he turned his attention back to the group of three staring at him in shock.

"I apologize, when I'd asked Anso to provide a distraction for me I had no idea the hunters would be so numerous." The elf met Hawkes eyes and she felt like she was going to faint. Literally. He had the most stunning eyes she'd ever seen. They were a deep green, but they had a lightness to them, she couldn't do them justice no matter how many words she thought to use to described them. Nothing was sufficient. There was a moment of awkward silence until Carver spoke up to the elf. "We do things like this often enough. It wasn't much trouble. Who are you?" He stepped in front of his sister putting himself a little bit closer to the strange elf. He was an elf, so Carver had height on him, but it seemed he was pretty tall compared to an average elf, he easily had a few inches on Serai, and for whatever reason that made Carver uncomfortable. So he inserted himself between them.

"Impressive," the elf replied. "My name is Fenris, and these, "he nudged the dead captain with his bared foot, "are Imperial Bounty Hunters trying to recover a Magister's lost property, namely myself." Serai's eyes widened and Varric began fumbling in his pocket for the small parchment paper he always carried.

"They've been wanting to lure me out into the open for sometime now. As crude as their methods were I could not face them alone. Thankfully, it seems Anso chose wisely." Now the elf crossed his arms and gave a small nod towards the group.

"So that's it then? There was no job, this was just a bloody set up?! You used us as bait!" Carvers hands curled into fist as he took another step towards the elf. "I should give you a taste of my blade." Before Fenris even had time to reply to that the small woman stepped in front of her brother pushing him back a few feet from where the elf stood. "Alright you, that's enough, if you can't play nice then let the adults handle this." Carver's eyes locked with Fenris' as he took the few steps back. The woman turned back towards the elf and flashed him a friendly smile, "Sorry about Carver, he's a bit of a hot head but he means well...sometimes. This is Varric Tethris, our own personal paragon of manliness."

"Oh Hawke, you flatter me. But Bianca says you should know she's got her eye on you." Varric patted the bow that was sleeping on his back and winked at the elf.

"Oh yes this is Bianaca, how could I forget." the woman said pointing to the weapon strapped to the dwarfs back. She rolled her eyes and Fenris couldn't help but be slightly confused, had she just introduced him to a...crossbow?

"And me, " she stepped towards him now with that same smile on her face and held out her small hand, "well, you can call me Hawke."

He hesitated a moment before he took her hand. He didn't know if it was because she seemed so friendly, if it was because she was so small, or if he had just momentarily lost his mind and forgotten about all the rules he'd lived by since he'd escaped, but he took her hand in his and gave it a light shake, "Well met, Hawke."


	8. Aleen's Feast

**Hey all you beautiful people! I know it's been a minute since I've updated, but I'm hoping that you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! The inspiration for this came from a sleepless night where I had nothing better to do then look up random things from Medieval times on Yahoo. Don't look at me like that...Facebook and Instagram can only take you so far! Anyways, someone posted something about a feast day and I read the story behind it and this chapter just wrote itself from there. I'm not sure if it was a legit thing as I didn't check sources or anything like that and it was the first I'd ever read or heard of it. But it's a beautiful story and it just inspired me to write. If anyone does know anything about this I'd love to hear more about it. This was the only thing I could pull up and like I said I'm not familiar with it at all. (Also the original name was St. Marks, but I've changed it in my story.) Anyways, enjoy guys, and reviews and suggestions are _always_ appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age universe, it's characters or it's places.**  
**That's all you Bioware!**

* * *

Anders walked into the Hanged man with one of his smiles. He always wore one when he was especially proud of himself for one reason or another. Fenris wondered for a moment what the monster had done now. Set a dozen blood mages free, assassinated a Templer, or maybe he woke up and dressed himself properly for once... With that fool it could be anything. He scoffed and rolled his eyes as he lowered his gaze back to the cards in his hands. Varric was too busy pouting, in between glaring at the tattooed elf to notice the Abomination's entrance. Fenris had taken Varric's money three times in a row now and the dwarf was starting to get worked up about it. Donnic and Sebastian sat next to them, across from one another, talking in hushed tones about something that had happened at the market earlier that morning. Something to do with a merchant getting out of hand from what Fenris had picked up.

Anders approached the table and took the open seat next to Varric. "Hello boys. Wonderful weather outside isn't it? How has this day been treating you?" He motioned to Norah who just so happened to be passing by for a fresh mug and crossed his arms on the table.

"I'll tell you how my day is going Blondie. I've lost twelve sovereigns to this bloody elf and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know what he's doing! I think I'm losing my touch!" Varric collected Fenris' cards and began shuffling the deck once more. Fenris took another swig from his mug. He hated drinking the swill here but he did so because it was the only thing that this establishment served. Donnic and Sebastian had ended whatever private conversation they were having and greeted Anders with a friendly nod. "Well you are in an unusually good mood today. The Maker works in mysterious ways! May I ask what blessing he's bestowed upon you today?" Sebastien gave Anders a friendly smile.

Fenris wasn't sure why but he could feel his annoyance growing. What was wrong with everyone today, why were they all smiling like fools?

"Sebastian, you of all people should know what tomorrow is!" Anders graciously accepted the mug from the waitress and gave her one of his charming smiles. The young girl blushed and giggled as she all but ran back to the counter.

Sebastian laughed, "Well of course I do. It's Aleen's Feast day. I didn't think it to be a holiday that you would participate in though to be honest."

The grin on Anders' face nearly reached his ears as he replied, "Normally I wouldn't. But I know someone who does fancy the holiday and maybe I wouldn't mind celebrating so much this year." He took a swig from his mug and Sebastian noticed as the light pink flush crossed the mages cheeks. "She deserves it you know, especially after what happened at the docks the other night."

Every man at the table, Fenris included, froze in place when he said that. He was talking about Hawke. She'd been walking Merril home one night and they'd been ambushed. It had been a dangerously close call and Serai was actually very upset about it. She had told Fenris that she had never really feared for her life before, but for whatever reason she hadn't grabbed her daggers that night and hand to hand fighting could only take a woman so far against six unusually large men. Apparently a man had roughed her up a bit and Merril conjured some kind of magic burst just in time. Merril had been unscathed but Serai still had the scratches on her face. She'd come to him that night after it had happened. He did his best to patch her up and helped her make some salves. He felt the anger he felt then flow back into him as he remembered, just as intensely as the night it had happened. "You want to celebrate with Hawke? Celebrate what? Her endangering herself for a blood mage?" Fenris tried to keep his voice even, but the venom was clearly heard. The anger in Anders face was clear as day, but before he could bark out whatever response he'd had Donnic spoke up.

"The Feast of Aleen. It's kind of a big deal here in Kirkwall. It's the tale of a knight who went into battle and was mortally wounded. The battle was long and they almost lost, but in the end they did prevaile. The knight knew he would not make it home to his wife, but before the battlefield claimed him, he managed to pick a single white rosebud from a bush on the outskirts of the field. He made his friend, a man he'd not only fought beside but grew up with in his home village, promise that he'd get the flower to his beloved. The man of course gave him his word, and though the bud was dyed red with his friends blood, he was determined to get the flower home to his wife, like he'd promised him he would. The man got back to his village as quickly as he could, they say it was only a matter of days, and when he arrived he delivered the news to the woman. He comforted her a moment before he showed her the rose. Sometime in his travels it had managed to bloom beautifully. It was still stained with the blood of her husband and rumor has it the woman kept the flower for the rest of her life. She managed to find some way to enchant it or preserve it I think. So when we celebrate Aleen's feast day we celebrate with flowers, like the one she received from her husband. Men will give their sweethearts a red rosebud today, and the woman can choose to keep it and continue, or maybe start, courting the man. It's really only for the romantics, but there is always great food to enjoy on this day as well for the rest of us. Especially the pies Ms. Mandela makes..."

The table sat quiet for a moment, especially Fenris. It seemed he was rolling the story over in his head. Finally he broke the silence, and with his voice still even and smooth he looked again to Anders. "You think you will be celebrating this with Hawke today? You plan on giving her a rose?"

"A rose _BUD_," Anders corrected him in his usual unpleasant tone. "and yes I do. What's it to you?" He crossed his arms meeting the elf's eyes with a glare of his own.

Fenris narrowed his eyes. "It means nothing to me mage. I just find it amusing you think she would accept such a gesture from _a monster_ like you. I think we all know she has more sense then that." Fenris placed his cards on the table and stood up. He began walking towards the door of the tavern.

"I'm sure it's more likely then her accepting something from an animal like you!" Anders shouted it across the large room but if Fenris heard it he didn't make any sign of it. They all watched the heavy door slam behind him. After a moment Varric finally spoke. "Well thanks for that Blondie. Now I can't even get my winnings back until next week! Oh Isabella is going to have a good laugh at my expense..." He grumbled as he gathered the cards from the table once more, and began shuffling them again. "You know, he seems...fond of Hawke, Anders. Do you think it wise to give her a gesture like this?" Donnic finally tore his gaze from the door and settled it on Anders.

Anders scoffed, "What? You think he's _fond_ of Hawke? I doubt it, he isn't fond of anything. That bastard doesn't care about anyone other them himself."

"I don't know Blondie. Her and Fenris seem to have been spending some time together lately. She's always talking to him, and if I'm not mistaken one day she even managed to make him smile..." Varric set his cards in a neat pile and took a long swig from his mug. "I think she's got a soft spot for our broody friend."

Anders looked almost appalled. "You're joking. You have to be, the only time I've seen that rabid dog smile is when he's ripped someones heart out of their chest. I doubt he even has time for such things as women considering the only thing he cares about is getting back at his old master and killing slavers all the time. No, I don't think there could ever be anything between them. I know me and Hawke don't always see eye to eye on things. But she is a smart woman, and I understand the reason she is the way she is. All she needs is someone to prove to her that we're not all the same." Anders pulled his mug to his lips and after a large gulp set it back on the table."Besides, can you really see him doing anything to win her over? I don't even think he knows what courting means."

* * *

Hawke was making her way to the foyer. She sat on the bench and even though she was so stuffed she felt like she'd burst, she grabbed her favorite boots and began the task of putting them on. It was usually a pain to put these on anyways because of all the laces and large buckles, but she loved the sound they made when she walked. A quite jingle almost with every step. It took twice as long as it normally did but she managed. She stood up, grabbed the wool cloak that hung on the hook near the door and was careful not to let the large door of the mansion slam behind her. The air outside was cooling down, now that the sun had set and the moon was beginning to rise in the sky. It had been a beautiful day, a warm breeze had been blowing and the ruffling of the leaves in the trees was always music to her ears. Despite the nice weather this evening she felt very tired. If Anders hadn't asked her to meet him at his clinic she would have happily dozed off on the couch with a good tome.

But she had eaten a lot today. She had a huge sweet tooth and with all the honeyed hams and baked sweets on the street she couldn't help but indulge, it was a holiday after all. Her mother kept telling her that all the cakes were going to go straight to her ass, which as far as Serai was concerned was a problem area already... yes this walk would do her some good.

She walked a while alone, it seemed that everyone had turned in early due to the holiday. She felt comfortable with the silence though. She had her daggers with her and with it would make it easier to hear anyone who'd possibly sneak up on her. She thought about that night at the docks for maybe the hundredth time since it had happened. She should have known better, she should know by now to always keep her weapons on her. But they hadn't been ambushed in months. She'd built quite the reputation as _THE_ mercenary. She always got the job done and very little effort was put into most of her jobs. She had a lot of people in her little group though, and apparently her companions were a big deterrent from trouble makers as well. She traveled with a Dalish, the elves who were rumored to be dangerous and savage beings, as well as pirate queen who was use to commanding a dozen men and fighting dirty. There was also the Dwarf who all but owned the Merchants Guild, and that strange tattooed elf from Tevinter who had strange markings and a massive sword displayed proudly on his back at all times. She had become careless. She thought that was something that she no longer needed to worry herself with. But there was always someone who would take advantage of you. Especially someone in her position...

She had just neared the stairs that led towards Darktown when she heard soft foot steps behind her, followed by a rough voice that she would know anywhere. "Where are you off too at this time of night? You know it's a holiday right, thieves love when people stay out late."

He was leaning on a pillar a few feet from where she was now standing. The moonlight danced across his white hair and she felt her heartbeat quicken. He was so handsome with his tanned skin and even in the dark she could see his bright green eyes meet hers. He was wearing the long black cloak she'd bought him last week and she couldn't help but smile. He was breath taking. He'd refused it at first, claiming that the alterations would cost too much and that it was a luxury for him, not a necessity, but when she gave him the ultimatum of getting the cloak or a pair of boots, he quickly accepted. She was glad to see the stubborn fool was at least putting it to good use.

"You're one to talk, what are you doing out here?" She smiled at him as she took a few steps towards the tall, lean figure.

"I had some business to take care of actually and couldn't help but notice a small human wandering around, figured it was you. You are the only short human I know." His head was bowed towards the ground, but she could see the smirk on his lips.

She gave him a playful punch to his arm, "Oh_ ha ha_! You are so witty!"

"I know," he chuckled, "it's a gift. In all seriousness though, you shouldn't be out this late. I thought you said you were going to be more careful..."

"Don't worry," she pulled her cloak to the side, displaying one of the large daggers sheathed on her hip, "I'm ready for anything." She winked at him as she adjust her cloak once more. "Honestly I wouldn't even be out right now, but Anders asked me to meet him in his clinic tonight. Said he needed to talk to me about something. I think he's trying to convince me to help with the Underground thing again. Seriously you'd think the man would accept no after I've said it for the millionth time."

She noticed his mouth tug down in a slight frown. They were both silent for a moment. "What is your excuse for being out this late? What kind of business were you tending too? Not something at the Rose I hope." She raise an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes.

"Of course not," he replied coolly, "but actually, you aren't far off."

He held a box up that she hadn't noticed he'd been holding. It was a small wooden box with a silky red bow tied around it. "You were shopping? This late? Is anyone even still open right now?"

He shook his head. "No, I went a little ways out of town, but it was worth it. Take it, it's for you."

"For me? What for?" She looked so confused and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yes. Just for you and just because." He held the box out to her once more and this time she took it.

It was a small wooden box but it had a red ribbon on it. She carefully pulled the ribbon away, and he noticed that her tongue was sticking out a little in concentration. As if she thought she might break it if she wasn't careful. She slowly opened the box and her eyes grew wide. They flickered from the box to him and back again. He smiled at her and crossed his arms across his chest. "Fenris I-" She didn't even know what to say. Finally after a moment she found her words. "I didn't even know you knew about the holiday today..."

"I heard it from Donnic." he simply shrugged.

Her eyes grew wide again and her words came out in a rush. "Are you sure he told you the right thing? Do you know what this means?! I mean not that you're stupid or anything but I think he might be playing a joke on you. Did he tell you what it's supposed to mean when you give these to someone, or at least when a man gives a woman these? Do you know what it's supposed to mean to receive these, what it would mean for-"

He took a one step towards her and he was so close she had to look up a bit to meet his eyes. "I know what they mean, Hawke."

She looked back down into the small box, at the dozen rose buds that were nestled into the silky fabric so carefully. A silly smile spread across her lips and she whispered "Thank you." So low he almost couldn't hear it. She lifted her eyes to meet his and she saw a bit of unsureness in those green pools looking back at her.

They stayed like that for a long moment before he asked, his voice shaky for the first time in all the times she'd heard him speak, "I know what the gesture means Hawke...is it the right one?"

She smiled at him once more and before he knew it her lips had met his in a soft, gentle kiss. She had caught him by surprise but just when his body was relaxing she pulled away, still with that smile dancing on her lips. She placed her hand, the one with the red ribbon still entwined between her fingers on his forearm and let her forehead fall onto his chest. He breathed a sigh of relief as he draped his free arm around her waist and let his chin rest on top of her head. Her hair always smelled so good. He still wasn't even sure he was doing the right thing... but he couldn't let Anders do this for her he couldn't chance that. So he had taken a chance himself but it seemed like it had been the right thing to do.

"It was indeed." she spoke quietly, but he could hear the smile in her voice and he couldn't help but smile too.

* * *

Anders was standing at the top of the stairs. The scene that was playing out before him made him furious. He couldn't stand Hawke most of the time, but there was just something about her... He wanted her, to be close to her, for her to understand...

But he'd never get the chance with that blasted elf around. He saw her lift her head off the elf's chest and kiss him once more. It was a sweet thing, and he cupped her face this time, an intimate gesture. Everyone had told him, said that he was the only one who didn't see it. Maybe he just didn't want too.

He definitely couldn't accept it, not yet. He would not let that run away slave get in the way. He had a few tricks up his sleeve too. He dropped the rose bud he'd been holding the entire trek up to Hightown, as he darted into the shadows and disappeared back into the night before the two people who were wrapped up in each other merely a few yards away noticed he'd even been there.


	9. Now and Then

**I'm back! I can't even tell you how much I missed writing, especially about everyone's favorite broody elf, but with a new job, a new house, a new kitten and a whole lot of other stuff going on I just didn't have the time. BUT! Now I'm on a schedule that is awesome and I am rested and recharged and all these little plot bunnies have made a nice little home in my brain. Long story short, get ready for some new chapters, because they are coming up! Also, especially since it's been so long, I feel rusty with my writing. So reviews are SO appreciated. :)**

* * *

Fenris took a long swig from his bottle and observed the damage around him. Every book from the shelves had ended up on the floor, for once there were more broken wine bottles then full ones, the curtains had been shredded and lay in a heap on the floor, and the table lay overturned in the center of it all. He wasn't even sure where his weapon ended up and to be quite honest it didn't really matter. She hadn't called on him in almost two weeks now, and he couldn't go to her. Not after what had happened, not after what he'd done. He'd spent the past week locked in his room trying to figure out what had happened and what to do about it.

He and Hawke had done pretty much everything together. Over the past year she'd spent more nights in his bed then in her own, and on the few occasional nights she did sleep in her own bed, odds were he was there too. She had touched every inch of his body at one point or another and the activities of that night were tame compared to some of their previous sessions...

He could not figure it out. He'd gone over that night over and over again in his head and there was nothing different about it. Nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary. He thought at first it might have been because he was so angry, but that wasn't new. They'd seek one another out in extreme emotional term oil all the time. She'd come to him countless times when she was upset about her family being gone, or when a job just took too much out of her. He'd gone to her sloshed senseless and infuriated about mages or slavers. It never made a difference. He finished off the last of the bitter liquid in the bottle and threw it into the fire. What in the Makers name had happened?

Fenris put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. He found himself thinking back to that first night, the first time they'd done anything together.

* * *

This was one of the few times he had ever been completely sloshed around anyone. That's why his preferred drink was wine, it kept him bitter and he could handle it better. But ale would ruin him, the pounding headaches would come before he even went to sleep and it would render him useless for at least two days after he'd finally woken up. But when Hawke had challenged him to a drinking game, he knew he'd end up like this. His pride wouldn't allow him to lose, and he didn't. They'd been going at it for the past four hours and she was so far gone she was afraid to go home. She asked if she could crash on his floor because Varric would have a job in the morning if she stayed with him and her uncle, mother and brother were just a pain in the ass in general and she just "needed to sleep for a week". He never would have let her come home with him under normal circumstances, but he was _that_ out of it this night. He'd chuckled and said that was fine, he spent most of his nights sleeping in his bed but he wasn't picky tonight, his big chair sounded just as good, especially after he'd settled into it. He didn't think he _could_ get up if he tried.

Hawke was sprawled out on the floor, right in front of the fireplace. She was humming something sweet but completely out of tune and she would giggle after every few minutes. He was watching her. Her eyes were closed and she was lying almost perfectly still. Her dark brown hair fell to one side and the way the firelight flickered over her skin was interesting. Her skin looked flawless and she had the longest eyelashes he'd ever seen. After a few moments she stopped humming, opened her big green eyes and looked right at him. "Hey Fenris, can I ask you something and you promise you wont get mad at me? You don't have to answer if you don't want too, but you can't get mad and throw me out on my ass." He chuckled at the thought. There was no way he had the strength, or the coordination for that right now.

"As you wish." He nodded to her to continue.

Hawke smiled up at him before closing her eyes once more and asking "Your markings, or tattoos or whatever you like to call them... do they hurt _all_ the time?". He watched her then, she was perfectly still and she wouldn't open her eyes. He smiled, that's what she was afraid to ask him? People asked him that all the time, he usually just didn't answer because it wasn't any of their business and his markings were not a pleasant thing to talk about. But in his current condition he found he didn't mind answering her question. "Kind of." It came out in a chuckle and this made Hawke look up at him again. "Kind of? That's all I get?" She gave him a strange look then and sat up.

"Well it's kind of complicated to explain. They are always...buzzing. It's a little bit like a burning sensation. I can always feel them, and if they get hit or touched the wrong way it's almost excruciating." He saw her smile disappear almost instantly and a look of sadness or horror, he wasn't sure which, took it's place. For whatever reason that made him feel awful. She shouldn't feel bad, she didn't do it. Besides it happened a long time ago, he'd been living with this for as long as he could remember. "But for the most part I can ignore it now, and if you touch it the right way sometimes it feels good. Like feathers, feathers feel fine." He gave her a half smile as he quickly added the last part and he saw her features change once more. She looked like she was thinking really hard. He took another sip of wine and then allowed his own eyelids to fall shut.

"Well, I guess I understand why people can't touch them then." She finally stated. He opened his eyes and turned his attention back towards her. She was sitting up now, looking at him with that same strange look like she was horrified at the confession. He didn't even think about what he was about to do next, everything just sort of happened by instinct.

He sat forward in his chair and set his wine bottle down by his feet. "Here, give me your hand Hawke." She looked at him for a moment, and he put his hand out to her. She hesitated but eventually she let her hand hover over his and he gently grabbed it. "Go like this." Using his other hand he did a spider-like type of motion. Hawke mirrored it and Fenris nodded at her in approval. He dropped her had as he rolled up the sleeve of his leather armor just a bit. Grabbing her hand once more he set it right on top of his wrist. "Do it just like that, kind of soft and slow, right over the markings." She shook her head and went to pull her hand back, she looked absolutely petrified by the idea of it. He chuckled again. "I promise Hawke, it'll be fine."

She looked at him for a long moment and then that look of concentration appeared on her face once more. Her brow furrowed and her eyes were slanted in concentration. She lightly let her fingers dance across his wrist. Fenris let his head fall back against the chair and his eyes shut once more. It felt so much better when someone else did it. "Really?" She asked. He must have said that last part out loud. Fenris just nodded and let his body relax as she continued to let her fingers dance across his forearm. When she stopped he opened his eyes and looked at her. She was looking right up at him, her eyes wide.

"Thanks." He gave her one of his small smiles. There was a few long moments of silence and Fenris was almost nodding off to sleep until Hawke spoke up once more. "If you ever need someone to do that for you, to calm them down or just because, you can always come to me. I don't mind giving your markings a break for a while." Her voice sounded small and unsure. "Really?" He asked.

"Sure. Anytime you want." She offered. Again, he didn't know why he did what he did thinking back on it now, but his body was on auto pilot. He wasn't thinking of the consequences and he wasn't thinking about how embarrassed he was when it came to his appearance. Fenris stood up from the chair and within a few quick motions took the top piece of his armor off. "If you don't mind, I think I'll take you up on the offer right now. I can never reach my back." He went towards his bed and fell face first into the pillow. It was only a moment before he heard her foot steps coming up behind him. She sat on the side of the bed and he heard her crack her knuckles. He didn't have to wait long before her fingers were dancing around his back, tracing his markings and working their way from his shoulders down to his lower back. It felt amazing and for the first time it felt like his lyrium was singing instead of screaming. She did this for a few minutes and when she stopped he felt empty almost immediately.

Fenris turned over onto his back and looked up at her. She look flawless, like and angel. The firelight dancing across the room enhanced the beauty that was already there. She was smiling sweetly at him and he noticed how nice her lips looked. They weren't too full like Isabela's, but they weren't thin like his either. He felt like he wanted to kiss them, and before he knew it that's exactly what he was doing. His hand was on her cheek and he was pulling her into him. To his surprise she didn't hesitate at all. Her tongue danced with his and she tasted of stale ale and Agressio. But it was the sweetest thing he'd ever had.

She pulled away for a moment, to catch her breath and reposition herself. She didn't want to put too much weight on him apparently, but that's what he wanted, he needed. He wanted to feel her touch, he wanted to taste her lips, he wanted some human contact. He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. "Touche me Hawke. Please." Apparently that was all the coaxing she needed, because she was on top of him in a second. Her hands running over his shoulders and along the back of his neck, her tongue rolling over his teeth, and her hair coming down in soft curls around them. It felt amazing.

He didn't feel his skin burn, he didn't feel it sting, all he could feel was her hands all over him. It didn't take long for them to undress each other, and once they were completely naked it took even less time for them to fall into an unsteady rhythm. It was fast, it was exciting, and it felt good. It was the best feeling he'd had in a long time and for a while he forgot who he was, he forgot about his markings and his master and all the pointless jobs he had to deal with on a daily basis. It was the best he'd ever felt.

* * *

They'd slept through the next day entirely and didn't wake up until sometime the next evening. He opened his eyes to find Hawke tiptoeing around the room looking for her clothes. His head was pounding and he couldn't remember most of what had happened that night. But he remembered her. He remembered the way she made him feel. Fenris sat up in bed and put a hand to his head. It was pounding like it never had before. The room was spinning and he was glad that the fire was low and it seemed to be night fall already. He also felt like he might throw up. He groaned in pain.

Apparently she noticed he was awake. "Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like a horse knocked me in the face a hundred times." He would have chuckled at that, if his head didn't feel exactly that way...

"I think I better get going." She spoke softly and she sounded groggy. "I think I've missed a whole day and I know my mother is going to be losing her mind. What's left of it anyways." He heard her footsteps as she crossed the room and opened the large wooden door.

"Hawke." He tried to say it as loud as he could, but honestly he was surprised she heard him at all. "Yes Fenris?"

"If you have any free time tomorrow, or the next day, whenever your head doesn't feel like it does now, I'd like it if you dropped by for a while." Well he must be really hung over. Where did that come from? She was quiet a moment before she replied. "I'd like that Fenris, very much." And with that he heard her footsteps all the way down the hall and to main door that she shut gently behind her. He flopped back down into his bed and in only a few moments allowed sleep to take him once more.

* * *

It had taken her a few days, but she'd come back. They drank of course, though not as much as they had the first time and did it all over again. At first it was only once every month or so, but that turned into a few times a month, which turned into once every other week until eventually it seemed like they spent more nights together then apart. This time should have been no different from any of the other times before...

But in that moment, they were right there, almost at their breaking point, and it had all come back to him. He'd seen faces and knew the names to match, he remembered life before his tattoos and the reason they were put there in the first place, he remembered it all. And then the release came, and within seconds the memories he'd regained, everything he'd known faded just as quickly as it had all come. Hawke had drifted off to sleep in only a few moments, like usual. But he couldn't catch a wink. He couldn't even stay in the bed for more then a few moments. He didn't know why he didn't just leave, instead of letting her know what happened. He could have, just kept it to himself, but something in him made him stay until she was awake. At the time it felt like she deserved that. But now he felt like it was the worst thing he could have done.

Now he was completely alone again. He didn't have any purpose now that she wasn't dragging him all over Kirkwall, he didn't have his memories, and worst of all he didn't have her.


End file.
